Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Break Ups

Have you ever had to break up with a friend? I have and it is such a weird process. I mean its not like when you have a break up with a boyfriend there is a big discussion or argument, your girlfriends comfort you and you get to eat lots of ice cream to pity yourself.

One time I had a friend, we were so-so friends but we did hang out. We used to live by each other and then we both moved and then we both moved again and ended up living close to each other again. During the moves she ended up getting a divorce and remarrying. When we renewed our friendship I met her new husband. He was just mean, that wouldn't of been a deal breaker except he was mean to her son. The Mommabear in me came out and I couldn't understand how she could let him be mean. So the break up began. I just stopped calling, didn't return her phone calls and just avoided her. Of course it was a slow process but finally she quit calling.

Sometimes I feel bad but I did try to have conversations with her about the situation but she just didn't get it. She would vent to me and tell me the things that would happen but she would not change it. Really I lost all respect for her.

Now the shoe is on the other foot, I am being broke up with. A friend has stopped the calls and doesn't return mine. I sent an email to ask what was up and the reason was lame. It was because when we were buying our house I didn't let her referr me to an agent so she could get a referral fee. Yes she through our friendship away over $100.00.

Really I am a good friend, I don't want you to get the wrong idea but I guess life happens.

8 comments:

Joanne said...

I am sorry that your friend is throwing away your friendship over $100. That is just silly.

I have been on both sides of the breaking up of a friendship. Sometimes it needs to happen. But I have discovered that most times it is just sad. I have actually been caught in between to friends that were in the middle of ending their friendship for good and they both kept venting to me which was awkward.

It is hard to lose a friend no matter the circumstances.

Jess said...

Oh that is just stupid and she did you a favor, she showed you your friendship was not even worth $100 to her. I'm your friend and I will never break up with you!

jodifur said...

I'm sorry, its a hard thing to go through. It has taken me a long time to realize that some friendships just aren't meant to be forever. And I'm someone who keeps friends forever.

Tooj said...

Breaking up is hard to do, as song lyric cliche as it is. I've been in both shoes, as well....and sometimes people take things like the referral as a personal afront to their judgment. Maybe she felt that you didn't trust her? Just thinking out loud....

Jenners said...

I totally understand what you are going through. I am kind of in the process of "breaking up" with a friend (who I guess I don't really consider a friend). I'm avoiding her calls. Mostly because it feels like such work to be friends with her and there is always a scorecard being kept on her end. Just not worth it. I've found that true friends are there always ... no matter how neglectful you are or stupid or missing in action. It shouldn't be hard work.

Good luck.

Zen Ventures said...

So sorry to hear this. I know how awkward it is to "break up" with a friend. I have one too. I kept dodging her calls and all. I haven't heard from her in 2 months now. I hope she got the idea. We talked about it but after the talk, we sorta slipped away from each other! Such is life!

Jamie said...

I've had to break up with a friend and sometimes it's just better to not have all that negativity floating around in your life. It sucks to do but you'll feel better once the monkey is off your back so to speak.

Nina said...

I have not broken up with a friend but I have had a friend break up with me, so to speak. We were friends from high school. I tried, and tried to stay in touch but she would ignore my efforts. I ended up living about 1 mile away from her for years but never spoke to her. I finally hung up my efforts. Didn't know what I did but I decided it wasn't worth all my effort to try and be friends with someone who wasn't feeling the same way. Good luck with your friend. Maybe she is just mad and will get over it soon.